It’s time to get rid of any shame around imposter syndrome – the secret feeling of being a fraud, when you’re not, that plagues 70% or more high-achievers at some point in their lives.
I hear people ‘confess’ to having imposter syndrome all the time, based on the idea that it somehow makes them less than others, or that they have some character flaw or weakness. This is simply not true.
Imposter syndrome is NOT a lack of self-confidence or low self-esteem. It affects highly competent, capable people due to three factors that create imposter syndrome when they happen together.
It is no more shameful than getting caught in a rainstorm. That is; zero shame.
The real cause of imposter syndrome
Research for my book, Unmasking, found that imposter syndrome is a combination of three different factors acting at the same time. One specific belief, one specific activity and a certain set of circumstances. When all three happen together, highly successful people feel like a fraud, isolated and doubt themselves. This is the experience of imposter syndrome.
It’s a simple equation:
A + B + C = Imposter syndrome
A is for imposter activity
Imposter syndrome happens when you are doing one particular activity that you believe, on some level, means something about you and your worth if you don’t do it well enough.
This is why it affects high-achievers more; because they are more often challenged to do new things and to a high standard. It is one of the reasons imposter syndrome comes and goes during your career.
Everyone has different patterns of imposter activities. The difference depends on their upbringing, their natural talents, what their parents, teachers or peers valued or what they judged. Your personal imposter activity is not ‘who you are’, it is an idea given to you by others or your own experience and child-view conclusions.
B is for belief
The belief here is a very specific one; that our worth depends on what we do.
That is, if we don’t do something well enough (the imposter activity), then that means that we are less worthwhile as a human being. And this is simply not true.
This is a deeply held belief by more than 99.99% of people in the world, and for most people, it is completely unconscious. It’s so prevalent in society that it even seems normal.
Dr Carl Rogers, a founding father of personal psychology, said in the 1950s that the essential cause of happiness is a sense of your own unconditional worth. That is, we are happy when we know that our worth as a human being does NOT depend on what we say or do or think.
Imposter syndrome is an expression of the belief that our worth is conditional. And almost all of us are taught it from a very young age, completely unconsciously and not deliberately.
C is for circumstances
The two circumstances that trigger imposter syndrome are high challenge and low support.
High challenge can be difficult relationships at work or a toxic work environment, it can be a change such as a new job or promotion, it can be doing something new that you haven’t yet mastered.
Challenge can also come from being a minority in the group, by gender, race, age, education, income etc., and outside of work, challenges in health, relationships, finances and family can add to the overall level of stress experienced. Too much external challenge can lower your ability to handle challenge at work, and so trigger imposter syndrome.
Low support means not enough people around us who are or can be supporters.
What can be done?
We can manage imposter syndrome when it arises, like putting up an umbrella in the rain. The transient influence on imposter syndrome is circumstances. The combination of high challenge and low support explains why imposter syndrome can come and go seemingly randomly.
The fastest wat to manage imposter syndrome is to get more support. Since people tend to keep it a secret, the most accessible support is often an independent party like a coach, mentor, counsellor or priest. Whoever can listen and support you, and not judge or try to fix you.
Do we want to eliminate all challenge to avoid triggering imposter syndrome? No, because not all challenge is bad. Certainly, you can address a toxic working environment to remove that aspect of challenge. But trying and learning new things, stretching ourselves to see if we can succeed, that is the thrill of reaching for our highest potential. Challenge is a wonderful experience when we have enough support. If we have good enough support in place, then we can experience the joy and satisfaction of reaching up and realising a bold goal every time.
We can plan for imposter when we see it coming, like paying attention to the weather forecast and taking your raincoat on that day. If we know what our particular imposter activity is, then we can plan in advance if we have to do that activity. Forewarned is forearmed.
Or we can get rid of imposter syndrome permanently, like moving to a completely different climate where there are no rainstorms. To achieve this, you do deep-change personal growth work addressing the underlying cause; the belief that our worth is conditional.
It’s time to stop being ashamed of imposter syndrome, because it is not a reflection of your worth or capabilities. It is simply three factors happening together.
The perfect storm, if you will.
Which means nothing about you.
