An inspiring message. But how exactly do we believe in ourselves?
Rarely are we taught HOW to believe in ourselves. Take a lifetime of criticism, doubt and judgements from ourselves and others. Add in the meaning we give to it, and we can become highly stressed, full of doubts, and unconsciously reactive to events. No wonder ‘believe in yourself’ is such a big ask.
Say you want to plant an apple tree, but your field is on fire. It’s impossible.
First, put the fire out. Then you see there are old tractor tyres in the field that kept the fire burning. Remove the tyres. In the bare soil, you can finally plant your apple tree.
It’s the same with planting new positive beliefs. Impossible – without some preparation.
First, calm the ‘fire’ of reactivity and stress responses from old negative beliefs. Use exercises to calm the nervous system, to bring it down from the fight or flight or freeze state. This brings us into a ‘friend’ state, of social engagement and safety. The fire is out.
Like the piles of tractor tyres, we can now observe our negative beliefs, judgements and assumptions and start to clear them out. Powerful acceptance and release methods do this well.
Finally, we have clear mental and emotional ground to plant our positive mindsets and new beliefs.
Changing beliefs and mindset requires these three steps to be effective and permanent: calm the fire, clear the negative, plant the positive.
