How Hard is Too Hard?
Have you ever witnessed a team member show up for a meeting with a huge stack of papers, when they’ve only been asked for a simple report?
That’s a classic sign of over-preparing; putting more time and effort into a project than it requires.
Many people would deny that over-preparing is a problem and won’t see anything wrong with it; they consider themselves to be thorough and to have a good work ethic. Indeed few workplaces would see it as a problem either; a thorough, high-quality job is the ideal.
However, over-preparing and its close friend perfectionism come at a heavy price of spending too much time and effort working. There is a difference between appropriate effort for the task and working yourself into the ground to achieve a result. That much effort is unsustainable, and not a long-term, balanced or healthy strategy.
The Difference
What’s the difference between a good work ethic and over-preparing?
A good work ethic is an ability and willingness to work hard to achieve results on a consistent basis. However, over-preparing is working disproportionately hard and has a whole different feeling and drive; over-preparing is driven by anxiety that I must prepare so well. The anxiety can be experienced as dread or overwhelm when given a new project, anticipating how much this is going to cost in time and effort.
‘What would happen if you didn’t prepare so much?’ is a question that reveals the motive.
Sometimes it’s about being right, that I must be the most knowledgeable person in the room or else. To prove that, I must make sure that I know the answer to any question I might be asked. The stack of papers then backs me up.
Sometimes the issue is more around fear of making a mistake. Less about needing to be right and more about fearing being wrong.
The disaster scenario for someone who feels driven to over-prepare is to be asked a question they don’t know the answer to, or to be challenged on a statement they’ve made.
By contrast, someone with a good work ethic would be comfortable to say ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I’ll take a look at that’ or ‘I’ll get back to you with that answer’. To an over-preparer, this would feel like failure and humiliation.
The Cost
People who over-prepare work in a high state of anxiety. They are likely to be working late nights and every weekend, not because they love their work so much but because the thought of not being ready for any question or challenge drives them.
It puts a huge emotional strain on the emotions and the body, and leads to burnout, stress-related illness, addictive coping behaviours, depression and potentially suicide.
The Cause
This unsustainable behaviour is driven by the fear of not being good enough.
It is the belief that your worth depends on what you do.
This is such a commonly held belief in society that many would not even question it. We learn from an early age that some actions are approved of, and others are not. The distortion is our childhood conclusion that doing something disapproved of makes us bad – as a person. And therefore worthless and unlovable.
The truth is that everyone is worthwhile, regardless of their actions. It’s a fine distinction that few adults can make, and certainly children cannot. So most people carry the belief into adulthood that they need to somehow prove they are worthwhile.
The degree to which we need to prove ourselves differs, and starts to become a problem for someone who feels driven to over-prepare. They start to believe that they are not worthwhile as they are – good enough – and need to compensate to feel acceptable.
Mental Health Awareness
Feeling alone is closely linked to the feeling of not being good enough, and people who work too hard feel that anyone could challenge them. Which makes them feel even more isolated and anxious. Isolation has been identified by the US Surgeon General as the most significant danger to us these days.
Thankfully the business world is waking up to the importance of mental health and wellbeing, with many charity and government initiatives raising awareness. One organisation, MHFA, trains volunteers to be ‘Mental Health First Aiders’ within companies, much like (physical) First Aid training. It is proving highly effective, especially in smaller companies where there is no dedicated Human Resources staff. These volunteers are trained to spot stress-patterns such as over-preparing and step in to arrange and provide support.
We don’t need special training to notice our own behaviour patterns and those of our colleagues and employees. Assuming that someone working excessively hard is ‘just that type of person’ or ‘they like to work like that’ is ignoring an obvious sign of distress.
We can always tell the difference between someone working hard out of joy and inspiration or out of stress and anxiety.
Your awareness that over-preparing is an actual problem, best tackled early on, is the factor that could save someone’s career and health.
